For some reason, Google loves me.

There are a number of search terms for which my blog ranks very, very highly:

  • Used Panty Machine: #3 and 4 out of 1,850,000. I have to say I’m very proud of this. (P.S. There are NO used panty vending machines in Japan.)
  • Used panty: #21 in Yahoo (Welcome, all you sick wankers!)
  • Chikan: #3 in Google Images, the photo of the guy I caught (SERVES YOU RIGHT, FU*KER!!), #8 in Google
  • Mouthcam: #4, 5, and 6! Take THAT, porno industry!
  • Groping Women: #2, the podcast about the guy who groped my wife who I nearly beat to death (OK, well, actually I only bitchslapped him) then had thrown in jail
  • Herro: #2 Why the hell are people searching for herro, and why are there over a quarter of a million pages with the word?
  • Japan podcast: #5
  • Bleach blonde: #6
  • How to become a Japanese Citizen: #6 (I’m still American, but I’m kinda sorta thinking about it…)
  • Conveyor belt sushi: #5
  • Burma Myanmar: #1 at blogsearch.google.com …Huh?

By far, most people who land here from Google are looking for used panties or videos or stories about groping women. In other words, one-handed typists wearing only one sock, and it’s not on their foot. (Here, let me help you out: “Lunch Lady.” “Ann Coulter.” “Condoleezza Rice.” “Janet Reno in a thong.” “Your grandmother is watching you from heaven right now.” Finished yet?)