When it comes to myself, I’m a perfectionist to the point of being neurotic. I can’t stand putting out garbage. If a batch of audio or video isn’t good enough, I either have to force myself to release it (and feel anxious until I get some feedback) or I crawl under a rock and disappear for months on end. The longer I put something off the easier it gets.
I gotta force myself to start producing again. Not because I need the attention, but rather because I don’t want to lose to whatever it is that holds me back. It’s probably a lot like fighting an addiction. I guess I’m addicted to anxiety. Which isn’t all bad–I completly understand others who feel the same way. Having that in common with people has actually made me a lot of close friends. It’s just not condusive to becoming a prolific podcaster.
OK, so I’ve hit rock bottom and it’s time to come back up. For starters, I put in an order for a new pair of binaural mics from Giant Squid Audio Labs. The $15 stereo jobbie just isn’t cutting it. Someone told me my audio quality sucks and I agree. I hate that mic. Even Andy the five six year old hates it. He likes to walk around the house recording himself, just like I did when I was his age.
Also, I’m getting close to shooting some video in Kabuki-cho with Mattias, a listener from Germany who’s doing an intership just up the street from me. As an excuse to make a video there, we’re going in search of the fabled Used Panty Vending Machine. Supposedly, there’s one there somewhere, and if it really exists, we’ll find it by interviewing everyone who should know. Hopefully we won’t get the pulp beaten out of us in the process for filming someone who’s–shall we say–violently camera shy.
I have to re-record the hostess bar episode. I’ve been doing more research, and I have a friend (a singer, not a hostess) I might be able to interview. I also have a shiny new desktop mic and mixer, courtesy of work.
I think I’ve met the Russian guy you talked about on Digg. Punched him in the stomach once,, a few years ago. He was literally on my heels for hundreds of meters, peppering my ears and neck with spittle as he ranted on about sex with teenagers. After telling him countless times that I wasn’t interested, only to have him keep grabbing me, I pushed him. Undeterred, he kept it up, so I lost my cool and socked him. I felt bad about it, but I’ll say it’s the only time I’ve unched anyone since I fought with my little brother as a kid and he was begging for it.
As for a panty vending machine in Kabukicho, I can’t say whether or not it’s there, but I’ve spent a lot of time in the neighborhood (Man, that sounds bad – I have friends who work at an Irish pub there and I used to watch movies at Milanoza), have had a number of conversations over the years on the, uhm. . . quirks. . . of the area and never even heard anyone mention that. On the other hand, if such a thing were to be anywhere in Tokyo, it’d probably be in Kabukicho.
Oh, and if you want any help with your search – let me know. You’ve piqued my interest.
How about tomorrow? If Mattias is free we’ll do it. Send me an e-mail.
Yep, that’s him. Actually, I don’t mind talking to him even though he looks like he might be homeless. I’d like to get his life story. So far I know he gambles all his money away, hates the Nigerians, and I wouldn’t trust him if my life depended on it.
Every so often I take a stroll through Kabukicho. I talk to people for a while, try to learn something about their background, then give them an excuse such as I don’t have any money on me. Pretty much like I did on one of my very first podcasts.
Yeh rich is back! go fo it, I look forward to your vid, I have been to Japan twice, and I have to say I went through Shinjuku area although not sure if it was the outskirts of Kabukicho, but I know I felt very intimidated by some of the locals. I was shocked by the guys selling stuff hounding me, I think they were Nigerians.
You were definitely in Kabuki-cho. They’re not really all Nigerians, that’s just the generic term. Kinda like how all white people are Americans.
Glad to hear you are going to try to get some stuff out. I really love everything you put out. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect either, it’s great to see or hear raw photage. It makes it feel more natural and I can relate or really get into the subject more. Unlike some edited or scripted things that distance themselves because they are less than human. The natural and friendly flow is what draws me in.
I might be getting too philosophical, but the main mental block I have is making that true for me. Many people have said the same thing, but it just doesn’t seem to sink in. The other is the fear of being too honest–it’s easy for me to do that. I’ve mentioned before that blogging and podcasting has gotten people in trouble with friends, relatives and employers–both present and future. You really have to compartmentalize your private and professional lives in this age where your entire life is just a Google search away from anyone in the world. Already I’ve had brushes with trouble in the past that I have to keep to myself. And considering this is just a hobby, it’s not worth the risk.
Take for example my mention of knowing someone who sings in a hostess bar. It’s easy to assume I met her at her place of work, when actually we met in a restaurant. I couldn’t afford to even step into the bar in Ginza where she works, nor would I want to. I prefer real friendship over rented by the hour.
My favorite podcast is the chikan one where you spend the first half of the podcast making pasta. Its so laid back and calm and natural, its not all high strung and fake like a lot of Podcasts tend to be. All your podcasts just have that innate touch that you seem to have!
Funny thing is, I got more hate mail from that episode than any other. It rubbed a few real wackos the wrong way. I ended up having to block a few people’s IP and email addresses so they’d stop harassing me. But I also heard from far more really nice people too who renewed my faith in humanity.
I’m still amazed at how many truly nice people listen and visit here.
I agree, with alex, the thing that got me hooked was the video podcasts including the xbox lounge with noone in it, I wonder what they did with those candles went it closed down?
It’s sad–in a pathetic way–when the most interesting thing about a multimillion dollar lounge is the table candles. I’m real happy with the editing I did on that one.
I have unedited video out the wazoo, mostly in the form of piles and piles of unlabeled MiniDV tapes. I really should shit some short ones out without obsessing about getting it perfect. It’s not like I’m ever going to win an Oscar.
Great to hear that you are on your way back Rich.
Looking forward to hearing and seeing new HerroFlomJapan offerings. You know, you really do have a golden touch with your media production. Everything I’ve seen and heard via HerroFlomJapan has been impressive – even if you had misgivings about publishing it.
Please have fun with it.